


Tobenai (O)Tori

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Series: Sora he Iku Tame no Tsubasa (The Wings that Exist to Take Me to the Sky) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 03:10:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4331508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s known for years that Hinata almost never takes his shirt off where Tobio can see. Tobio never <i>minded</i>, per se, and had hardly even thought it that weird, even for Hinata. For someone who takes such pride in his athletic skills, he’s way more body-shy than Tobio would have expected, but they all have their quirks--Tobio more than most--so he’d never thought anything of it.</p><p>It had never occurred to him that there might be something <i>more</i> than the apparent shyness driving Hinata to keep his shirt on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tobenai (O)Tori

It’s two weeks before their second spring Inter High that someone finally brings it to Tobio’s attention. Ikeda and Nakajima, two of the first years, are talking in hushed tones as they clean up under Tobio’s supervision, and after the third time he catches them casting furtive glances in Hinata’s direction, he narrows his eyes and storms across the gym to stand between them, arms crossed sternly in front of him.

Nakajima winces when he notices Tobio behind them, but Ikeda actually brightens. “Kageyama-senpai will know!”

That throws Tobio for a loop, and he relaxes his stance a little bit. “Know what?”

“About the scars on Hinata-senpai’s back. What are they from?”

Tobio blinks. “Scars?”

“I saw them when he was changing this morning. They looked old, but when I asked he just laughed and said it was nothing.”

Tobio frowns, looking over at Hinata, who’s laughing at something Nishinoya’s just said. _Scars?_ Irritation and shame mingling in his stomach, Tobio sighs, turning back to the first years. “They really are nothing. And don’t ask him about them again, alright?”

He must be wearing a particularly fierce face, because Ikeda flinches this time. “You got it, Kageyama-senpai.”

As the two of them get back to work tidying the gym, Tobio turns back to Hinata. Almost two years they’ve known each other, and Tobio had never noticed the scars. How? Tobio may not be the best at reading people, but he’s nothing if not attentive to his surroundings. So how could he have missed that? He thinks back through years of changing together, of playing together, of spending as much time working out together as working out with the team. And then, gradually, it dawns on him.

He’s never actually _seen_ Hinata’s back.

But no. No, that can’t be possible. Can it?

\----

It’s not like he’d never noticed how weird Hinata is about his body before. He’s known for years that Hinata almost never takes his shirt off where Tobio can see. Tobio never _minded_ , per se, and had hardly even thought it that weird, even for Hinata. For someone who takes such pride in his athletic skills, he’s way more body-shy than Tobio would have expected, but they all have their quirks--Tobio more than most--so he’d never thought anything of it..

It had never occurred to him that there might be something _more_ than the apparent shyness driving Hinata to keep his shirt on.

\----

For the next two weeks, Tobio watches Hinata like a hawk, gathering data and keeping an eye on Hinata’s every move. By the time those two weeks are up, he’s certain of it. It isn’t that Hinata won’t take his shirt off in front of Tobio, it’s that he won’t let Tobio see his back. Maybe won’t let _anyone_ see his back, if the careful way he moves around the club room is any indication.

Why? What could be so bad that Hinata would hide it from them? From _him_? He’d thought--

But then, Tobio knows he’s bad at reading people. Maybe this is just one more instance of that.

He’s so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice Hinata following him home after practice until he punches Tobio in the arm. Tobio jumps, blinking rapidly at Hinata’s worried face.

“What’s wrong, Kageyama?” Hinata asks, head tilted to the side.

Tobio scoffs, looking away. “It’s nothing, idiot.”

Hinata hums, eyeing Tobio thoughtfully. “Look,” Hinata says, his voice even and gentle, even as he looks away, lifting some of the pressure from Tobio’s shoulders. “We’ve known each other for a while now, right?”

Tobio snorts. “I don’t know about that.”

Hinata laughs indulgently. “Alright, not that long. But regardless of how long we’ve known each other, we know each other pretty well, right?”

Tobio swallows and looks away. _I thought we did, at least…_

“We know each other well enough that I know not to push if you don’t want to talk. But I also know you well enough to know something’s going on. You’ve got that look on your face that means you want to ask something but are worried about how I’ll answer.” Tobio turns sharply to see Hinata looking at him with warm, sincere eyes. “You’re my setter, Kageyama. So don’t lie to me, okay?”

Tobio looks away, suddenly ashamed. “Sorry,” he mutters.

He can feel Hinata’s smile without even looking at him, and it loosens something that had gone tight in his stomach. “It’s okay! But you know that nothing you say could ever make me mad at you forever, you know that, right? You’re…” Hinata swallows, and Tobio turns to look at him. “You’re one of the most important people in my life, Kageyama.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

The second the words are out, Tobio wants to take them back. It’s a fight not to actually physically slap his hands over his mouth. He bites his tongue and looks away, not wanting to see the look on Hinata’s face. He can feel his neck going warm even in the cold of the waning winter.

He hears Hinata kick out the kickstand on his bike and move to stand in front of him. Tobio fights to keep from meeting Hinata’s gaze, but in the end, Hinata’s patience is stronger than Tobio’s. He cracks, turning to look Hinata in the eye.

“Tell you what, Kageyama?”

Tobio swallows, fists clenching at his sides. Then, as Hinata tilts his head to the side, Tobio feels all the hurt rush out of him. If Hinata’s worked so hard to keep this a secret, maybe he should just let it be. Is it worth risking hurting Hinata just so Tobio can know whatever his secret is? With a quiet sigh, he looks away. “Never mind,” he says, voice soft in the winter evening.

Hinata hums, moving into Tobio’s line of sight again, head tilted to the side. “You sure, Kageyama?”

Tobio swallows, and nods slowly. “I… I don’t want to hurt you.”

Hinata blinks at that, a startled laugh bubbling up from inside him as he turns to hop onto his bike. “Hurt me, Kageyama? What on earth could--”

Unbidden, Tobio’s fingers find the back of Hinata’s shirt, pressing against the skin underneath lightly, and Hinata goes completely still.

“Oh,” he says, voice soft and small.

Tobio draws his hand back as though burned, and opens his mouth to form some sort of apology, but Hinata turns to him, all smiles, before he can get a word out.

“I guess it’s time, then.”

Tobio can see the tears at the corners of Hinata’s eyes, and he wants so desperately to take it all back, but at the same time, he wants to know what Hinata’s been hiding. Still. _Still_. “Hinata--”

“Don’t, Kageyama. I know you want to know. You don’t… you don’t have to hold back for my sake.”

Tobio swallows. “Are… are you sure?”

Hinata swallows. “No. But we have a long walk for me to think about it.”

Tobio blinks. “Eh?”

Hinata’s smile is fractured, but there. “I can’t very well explain it here. I need to take you to my place.”

“But…” Tobio frowns. “I don’t understand.”

“I know,” Hinata says with a nod, “but you will.”

“Okay,” Tobio says, slow, but certain. “I trust you.”

Hinata’s eye go wide for a long moment. Then, with a quiet smile, his face softens. “Thank you, Kageyama.”

Tobio nods, and steps up next to Hinata, letting him put the bike between them.

They don’t talk the whole way to Hinata’s house, and Tobio finds himself surprisingly okay with that. For all that he’s used to Hinata’s constant, inane chatter, it’s good to know that they can be together like this too. Quiet, and certain in one another’s presence. It’s comforting in the best possible way. They make it to Hinata’s house too soon, and Tobio murmurs a quiet _Sorry for intruding_ , even though he’s been here often enough that he knows Hinata’s family won’t mind. Natsu’s all smiles, rushing up to hug Tobio around the knees, while Hinata steps into the kitchen. When Tobio looks up from greeting Natsu, Hinata’s speaking in soft tones to his mother, who’s looking at Tobio with a darkness in her eyes that he’s never seen there. It makes him stand at attention and meet her eyes head on.

He seems to pass whatever test she was giving, and she sighs, nodding at Hinata and speaking back just as softly. Hinata glances over at Tobio, then back at his mother, and nods. She sighs again, gesturing for Hinata to follow her.

They come back a few minutes later, Hinata carrying a DVD and wearing a small, uncertain smile. Tobio nods back, trying to be reassuring, and Hinata relaxes a little bit. Hinata nods at the living room, and Tobio follows him.

“Hinata--” Tobio starts, but Hinata shakes his head.

“Just watch.” Hinata pops the DVD into the player, and sits back on his heels, his own eyes wide and fixed on the screen. Tobio looks away from Hinata just in time to see the image on the screen wobble slightly before settling on a child that looks strikingly like Natsu did the first time Tobio met her. But when the child turns to look at the screen, there’s no mistaking him for anyone but Hinata.

Tobio blinks. He supposes, in some strange way, that it makes sense that whatever scars Hinata’s hiding would be from a childhood injury. But the fact that they would have caught it on tape is--

Tobio’s thoughts are cut short when Hinata’s mother steps into sight, and Tobio takes stock of the surroundings. They’re outside, but it looks like they’re in a secluded corner of a park, or a small yard. Somewhere out-of-the way. And the reason becomes clear in an instant.

Hinata’s mother slips Hinata’s shirt off him, and a pair of huge orange wings unfurl from his back. Tobio sucks in a startled breath, his eyes cutting immediately to the Hinata beside him. But Hinata’s just staring at the screen with a wistful look in eyes that are misty with unshed tears. Tobio stares at him for a long time before movement on the screen catches his attention.

The Hinata on the screen is… _flying_?

Tobio stares for a long time as the Hinata on the screen makes wide, lazy loops, laughing as he coasts through the air, higher and higher until he comes dive bombing back toward the ground, pulling up at the last minute, laughing even louder at the way his mother scolds him.

Tobio stares and stares, the impossibility of what he’s seeing barely registering, because he’d thought he knew what Hinata’s smile looked like, but this. _This_. This is a wider smile than Tobio had ever thought possible.

He looks over at Hinata, mouth half open in question, only to see Hinata getting to his feet. He steps toward the television and clicks it off, before taking a deep breath and, almost too quick for Tobio to register, slipping out of his uniform shirt.

Tobio blinks. There are two long, mottled scars running the length of Hinata’s back, starting just inside his shoulder blades, and ending a few inches below where his ribcage shows, way too obvious in his overly slender frame. Tobio only just manages to stop himself from touching the scars, drawing his fingers back and settling down on the floor, both of his hands curling into fists in his lap.

“Wings?” he asks, voice thick and uncertain. “You had wings?”

“Mm.” Tobio looks up in time to see Hinata nodding, before stretching up toward the ceiling. “Until I was about five.”

“How…?”

“They can come out on their own--my uncle lost his naturally--but most of us have them amputated.”

“Amputa… _Why_?”

Hinata turns to him, his face a brittle mask that makes Tobio ache. “They stop growing with us when we’re seven or eight. If we keep them, we try to keep flying and eventually…” Hinata swallows, looking away. Tobio doesn’t need him to finish the sentence. Hinata shakes himself slightly, before looking up again. “So, we have them amputated. I’m just lucky I wasn’t born two hundred years ago, to be honest.”

“So you just have to live without them?” Tobio blinks, surprised at his own outburst, but Hinata lowers his arms from where he’d still had them extended over his head, his face gentling.

“There’s a story my mom likes to tell. About a relative six generations back. About how she got her wings back. I used to console myself that maybe that could happen to me, but now.” He shrugs. “No one in living memory has ever gotten them back. Why would I get to be so special?”

“Because you love the sky.”

Hinata stares at him, eyes wide and stunned. “What?”

“Because you love the sky, Hinata. It’s why you jump so high all the time. It’s why you play volleyball. It’s why you…” Tobio swallows, but gathers his courage. “It’s why you’re strong enough to stand beside me on the court.”

“Kageyama…”

“So tell me. What did she do to get her wings back?”

Hinata stares at him, eyes gone misty again. “Please, Kageyama. Don’t get my hopes up.”

Tobio gets to his feet, standing stronger and taller than he feels, looking Hinata in the eye. “I saw you on those tapes, Hinata. I saw how happy you were. I want you to have that again.” He ignores the sting that says that he wants Hinata to feel that way standing beside Tobio, on the court, but he rejects the thought, knowing that it’s selfish, and not at all the point of this.

Hinata goes on staring at him for a long time, before he swallows, eyes cutting away briefly before cutting back to Tobio. “The story goes that when you find something that makes you as happy as flying did… when you feel that same sort of perfect joy… that’s when you get your wings back.” Hinata looks up at Tobio, his eyes challenging. “For her, it happened when she and her lover confessed their love to each other.”

Tobio feels a twist in his stomach at Hinata’s final words, but he holds his core tight and stands a little taller, holds himself a little stronger. “Then we’ll find someone for you to love, Hinata. I won’t stop until you’ve found her. Or him,” he adds, when Hinata’s face twists. “Whoever you want. We’ll find them. I promise.”

Hinata looks away, biting his lip. Then, slowly, he nods. “Alright. Alright, Kageyama. You win.” He laughs, a quiet, self-deprecating sort of sound that Tobio never wants to hear from Hinata’s lips again. “We’ll try.”

Tobio crosses the room to Hinata, grasping him firmly by the shoulders. “That’s all I ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a play on a few different Japanese words. _Tobu_ can mean "to jump" or "to fly," a double meaning that lends itself beautifully to this particular fic. Conjugated as _tobenai_ , it means "to be unable to jump/fly." _Otori_ is the term the team uses for Hinata's position--the "decoy"--while _tori_ (depending on the kanji used) means bird. Again, a fortunate play on words that this time actually translates _better_ when one doesn't use the respective kanji for the words.
> 
> This fic is unbeta'd and my first foray into the _Haikyuu!!_ fandom. I hope you enjoyed it! Come flail at my [on my tumblr](hollyandvice.tumblr.com), if you'd like!!


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